Try to understand the condition from their viewpoint
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Salam ‘Alaikom,
Thank you for writing so you’re able to all of us. We realize how tough it’s and then make sense off objections which can be grounded a lot more in cultural and you can personal preferences and you will less into the religious and you will ethical principles. Feedback a few of the items we present less than so you may come to some choice on how we wish to handle this problem along with your mothers.
Basic, while in particular colleges out of believe a beneficial Muslim lady have to have the latest consent regarding their own wali (guardian) discover hitched, there is certainly strong arrangement that an excellent Muslim man is also marry instead the latest consent out of their mothers. You want to state first, yet not, we come into not a way indicating one Muslims your investment main role you to definitely moms and dads normally and really should gamble on the relationships process. However, as in your own situation, the mother and father are insisting into a specific perspective one is obviously not served from inside the Islam, we.elizabeth. declining a candidate to own wedding centered purely towards the racial and you can cultural considerations.
Next, considering what you have written, we believe that your parents may well not only be focusing on competition and you can society, however they might have some other appropriate questions as well. Let us start with your own admission you are “perhaps not the ultimate Muslim.” We’re not yes the manner in which you are utilizing the word “primary,” and is possible that your parents including differ regarding how “perfect” good Muslim you’re. Since you are seeking wed a woman who’s now Christian but is looking to return so you’re able to Islam, your parents might also be concerned your faith are affected as you are not “perfect” on your own routine today and she’s going to be only starting in learning concerning the faith.
A separate possibility is the fact your mother and father are inextricably linking Islam having Turkish culture, i.e. being Turkish is equal to are Muslim. Once again, they aren’t alone in this manner because the a lot of people from different countries have equivalent notions. The concept will be to let your parents know people of all the racial and cultural records is and you will do end up being Muslims. Instance reverts must simply stop trying men and women regions of its societies that are explicitly forbidden within the Islam, we.age. drinking alcohol, taking pork, and you can ancestral worship just to term a few. Any other areas of their people out of origin can and may be chose should they come into range which have Islamic teachings. Your parents you are going to become threatened that your particular future pupils does not become instructed Turkish society since their mother is not Turkish.
3rd, i need you not to ever define this problem you’re against because a sometimes or, we.elizabeth. you either going a beneficial sin by the disobeying your mother and father and you may marrying it lady or you to go good sin from the “blindly” obeying your mother and father and not marrying which lady. The truth on the state is you might be stored responsible for all of your current steps as well as how your do those ideas. The problem from obeying your parents try a legitimate you to, but you try an adult mature and also be held responsible for the strategies. Islam gives you the authority to marry a good righteous Muslim woman without any consent of one’s parents, while it’s strongly necessary to own their parents’ blessing as the your move on to your relationships. You should never thought cracking out of most of the relationships along with your parents just so that you can get married so it woman. You actually have a duty to support friends which, you should do everything in what you can do to come to specific common expertise together with your parents about this procedure.
Finally, you need to do what you can to save obvious outlines out of interaction together with your moms and dads to allow them to keep in mind that you don’t want to abandon both Islam or Turkish community. They need to tune in to away from you you have which purpose at heart. Enable them to to locate that you as well as your coming partner tend to fight not only to be great Muslims, but that you’ll do everything you can in order to maintain the brand new Turkish society too. Maybe, you can impede marrying it lady for some days so she will be able to actually choose in order to become a beneficial Muslim as well as initiate doing the brand new faith. Because a good Muslim, in the event that she will be able to possess uniform communication with your parents, perhaps that might help your mother and father being confident with its future daughter-in-rules. Generate a great amount of du’aa (supplication) to Allah (swt) and Istikhara (prayer to have suggestions) and you may look for His (swt) ssistance as you make your final decision. And you will Allah (swt) knows most useful.
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